Facebook Timeline Autopsied…


To be honest, I was hooked to FB, in fact I am still, but day after day it’s becoming a crowded place where lanky asses (not including many of us!) like to show-off the world how happy their miserable lives are; where app requests bombard the notifications making our lives hell (Smartphone users will definitely know what I mean) and where girls get jealous seeing their guys poking, liking and commenting on other irrelevant girls profiles.

So, seeing all this I’m slowly moving away from this virtual world, which has nearly killed my real world. However, I do agree it helps me with work info, and friends’ updates (who have got married, who is having babies and who went from “in a relationship” to “single”). But then again, it has ruined the fun of calling friends, chatting for hours on the phone and pulling their leg on their new crush.

FB is slowly going from good to bad and what made it even more painful was the launch of Timeline. Out of temptation, I too clicked on the ‘Publish Now’ button and totally hate it now. This is why:

  • Cover Photo: So we select the creepiest pictures to show the world how bloody cool our thoughts are. And I say ‘world’, because it is made public – not only your friends, but also friends of friends, exes and the whole FB jing-bang can see it. Dammit.
  • Profile Picture: It’s the size of a passport picture. What the hell? And who bloody looks nice in a passport shot? Okay, your pic can be a full shot, mid shot or knee-length shot, but all will appear the size of a passport pic – making it even worse as now you look like a midget (no offense, please).
  • Wall Posts: When on someone’s profile, the posts appear in two columns, where you keep moving your eyes from left to right, right to left, left to right and so on. It was much easier when your eyes were just fixed at the centre of the page and you simply kept scrolling down the page. That aside, pictures automatically get cropped, if it’s bigger than the box size. So to view the entire shot, you are forced to click on the picture – too much effort.
  • History (Year-wise): So, once upon a time I wrote a drunken status, bitching about my gf that she somehow missed out on (as she’s nice who doesn’t keep a tab on my updates), but can “now” see every like, and read every comment made on it. WTF!!! Are you serious? I don’t want to tell people and let myself know too, what I wrote as a status zillion years ago. But no, this year-wise history just about reveals every dirtiest secret of ours – from our status updates to who wrote what on our wall. I mean, come on I was single that time, but now I’m committed.
  • Settings: This problem started from the day FB geniuses decided to change the settings of ‘Privacy Settings’, making our life so complicated. With Timeline, it just got much more complicated. *Phew*

    P.S. After reading this, don’t blame me for making you hate the timeline now.

Photo Courtesy: theantisocialmedia.com


About fashionablygeek

Fashionably Geek will prodigiously juxtapose well-written articles, dishevelled thoughts and an assorted mix of other topics that catch my fancy. It will (most certainly) introduce you to the latest happenings and bring to you anything and everything under the sun. You like my post... feel free to comment. You don't like my post... "still" feel free to comment. Ideas to improvise are always welcomed. I'm one person who believes, learning is an integral part of our life and will be attached to us till the very end of our journey. A full-time Journo, I'm the Resident Drama Queen (as my boss calls me) of FHM Magazine. I write, yap and throw tantrums, being the only girl in the team.

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